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Bamboo River, Selangor, Malaysia
i'm a happy 4feet girl.... slumber... cheer... n friendly.... i like 2 sing, act and hosting like to create songs,poems and story. family,friends and writing are my life....

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Black history...bright future...maybe? Insya'Allah

At the age like a woman...
of course i want a beautiful life in the future with someone i love...
but history keeps hunts me
will there be someone?
can he accept me just the way i am??
can he??
sometimes i prefer to be alone
sometimes i felt i need someone...
but will that person can filled and accept me??
its already ruin...
my heart already ruin and breaks in pieces...hard to trust anyone anymore
its totally already breaks into tiny little pieces
the happiness just for a moments
the promises just for a moments
i never cried for someone before...but everyday thinking of my self
why i still alive??
i've shouldn't still alive...
i've ruin my own life
like honestly...i never loved someone so much
but this is not once...but twice
i though....given him chance and time
would change everything
but i don't know
what am i still waiting and hoping
will he comeback??
i don't think so....
As for me....just livin' with the dark history thats only makes me cry everyday reminding what i've done and sacrifice for my whole life
i cry...everyday...everyday thinking....
how my future will be??
will it be the same like other women??
can i be happy?
can i have a good life??
How can i still care to someone that not even care a second about me...
everyday i being hunt with the darkness of my past history
yes...past of that 10month
i'm so happy with him
happy that finally i can be with someone i love so much and waiting for past 2years after what happen
but then...everything just vanish in a blink of an eye
i accept him just the way he is
i don't care what his job is...his attitude,hobby although its opposite with my ideal man of life
everything already ends
how can i stop thinking about it when silence kills rather than the truth
everyday i woke up i can't stop thinking and sometimes i'll cried...
so many memories....its scattered  everywhere

Dear Allah...please help me forget him if he is not for me
please forgive me if i forgot u